Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A More Deliberate Idleness

     Last week I typed about how I'm in an awkward in between stage where I don't really have anything to do but wait. The next morning I woke up to an email asking if I was interested in a position at Hoag Hospital as a Lab Assistant in the Microbiology Department. I said yes without hesitation, but fully understanding that my qualifications are...less than existent.
     Both of my phone interviews were atrocious. The HR people actually told me I should never use the answers I gave in any interview--ever. But they still put me through to an in-person interview, which I thought went well. I also learned that if by some miracle they did give me the job, I would be in way over my head.
     So I've been having a very productive, very continuous talk with God about why He's advanced me so far in this interview process, because if one thing is certain, I didn't get this far by merit. And I keep getting this nagging feeling that I have but to ask Him for the position and He'd give it to me. But I haven't. Because if the last few years have taught me anything, it's that I truly have no idea what's best for me. So I'm gonna let Him decide, and if He thinks I'd flourish there--cool. If not, well, the military is looking awfully inviting.

13 comments:

  1. Woah, curve ball at the end in this post. What an interesting story-I am so encouraged by your response-to be willing to wait for God's movement in this interviewing process. I'm praying this can actually be a restful time.
    Intrigued to see more of what God has in store for you, my friend. Praying for joy and peace, despite a lack of understanding (because we never fully understand what God is up to! Yet He always works things for our good)

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  2. Ryan -- cool to hear how God is using this experience to grow your relationship, as well as grow your perceptions a bit...congrats for taking a leap of faith in pursuing something outside what you see as your 'ideal' and trusting on God to keep or take you from it. Like Amanda, I'm excited to see where this leads you!

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  3. This is awesome...and I will be praying for God's wisdom, leading, and direction! And that you don't have to resort to the military :-)

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  4. do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (phil 4:6-7)

    i am praying that even in the season of not getting it your heart will be guarded by a fortress of God's peace and not knowing the answers or what is going on now or the next step will be disarmed of its power in the presence of Jesus. :)

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  5. God has such a special plan for you and it is hard to rest in that at times not being able to see ahead of us. It seems like you are in a transition time of your life and I'm sure that is difficult. I will be praying for you. May you rest in who God is and His faithfulness and love for you. By the way, if you do end up working at Hoag let me know because that is where I work :)

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  6. Whoa, like Amanda said, curve ball at the end of this post! I read this out loud with Bayley and at the end we were both like what! Bayley also asked, "What could he have possibly said in the interview?" haha... you're funny. So with that aside, I am proud of you for your desire to wait on the Lord so that your decisions will be exactly in step with His will for you. I think the Lord will definitely bless you in that. I want to encourage you to keep praying, but also remember that any decision made for God, any righteous decision, will not be put to shame. I will also pray for you right now.

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  7. Nice! Ryan, I always enjoy reading your posts because they're so raw, and you really get to the point. It makes it easy to read. Not that the content is less dense or complex. You have a way of conveying your thoughts in an effortless manner. On a side note, if you have any questions about microbiology or want to borrow any resources/books to read up on the field of study, let me know! I've worked at a microbiology research lab for a while.

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  8. I am so excited for you! You will soon be complaining about being too busy! God is starting to open doors for you after you waited patiently. I will be praying for your interview. Missed you yesterday!

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  9. hey ry, i read both this post and the last one. i was definitely in that place of not having anything to do a while ago, just feeling so bored and like nothing was going on. now i feel spread so thin, like all i want are those 30 minutes of rest or down time. and then again, when i have that time, i feel restless and weak in it. your post and my own mindset makes me contemplate where there could be a balance. i don't know. there's this great quote though that says this: "The antidote to exhaustion is not rest. The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness." sorry if this isn't exactly what you were getting at in your struggle. i think i'm projecting my own feelings onto it. thank you for sharing.

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  10. I think it's great that you are so willing to let God take control! That is a difficult place to get to for many people. But I also think it's important to grow in your own decisions too and to have a conviction in what it is that you want out of life. I'll definitely be praying for you to have some sort of discernment in what you want!

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  11. May God remain active in your physical idleness, and may you continue active in your spiritual decisions as God continues to reveal the qualities he has distinctively given you :)

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  12. yay! a time to think and an opening door. I will pray that the door opens really wide or it slams shut. this is how I pray for myself in situations like this. so this is my best for you. : ) I am excited for you, either way, because there is so much to learn in this process. take advantage of that and seek what God is trying to teach you in this time. there's always something more to learn about Him. He is also GOOD and I pray you do not lose sight of that. and also, consider joshua wilderness (where darin was at in Hume) over the military. : ) I have friends who have more than benefited from the program.

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  13. did not expect that ending. But. Just keep finding yourself in prayer. Even if it is the smallest of things God still will answer. Whether you like that decision or not is a different story, but you will get one as long as you believe. "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours." Mark 11:24 This passage stuck out to me so I thought I'd share.

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