So I started to actively participate in church communities and events in the last year or so. Before I was more concerned about my own life to really get involved in others' lives. It's been a pretty cool experience and I can see why God asks us to live life with others rather than going solo.
That being said I have a bit of a bone to pick with how church culture tends to play itself out. I'm not a fan of the forced feeling that many "fellowship sessions" tend to give off. I understand that if we don't schedule time out to pray and communicate that it probably won't happen; but at the same time I find the best discussions I have with other Christ-followers about the Kingdom happen on their own in a natural setting. Between the many groups and studies I've been attending it's started to feel like a chore.
Now maybe this is because I'm naturally a little restless and it's hard for me to sit and talk for too long in one place, but sometimes I get tired of all the talking we do. I don't want to sit around and discuss loving others. I want to do it. I don't want to talk for hours about being bold and reaching out. I want to practice it.
Then again this might just be where I am at the moment. But I really feel like I've been called to throw out all the curriculum and start in on the application.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
It's Pretty Frustrating
I'm gonna apologize in advance for yet another post about sports. They've been a big part of my life. They kept me out of trouble in high school. They taught me about hard work and discipline. It brings me great joy to run around and play. Anything. I just want to play.
Today was the last day of my physical therapy and I've gone through quite a bit of pain to get healthy and I would say my knees are 80%. I dunked for the first time in almost two years today while helping out with the varsity program at Harbor. It was a pretty joyous moment for me. So when I came down on a girl's foot the next play and went home on crutches with a severe high ankle sprain I was pretty bummed.
Sure it hurt. Sure its a hassle to get around. But more than anything I'm just plain bummed. I miss being able to play.
I suppose there's a silver lining in the sense that now I won't be tempted to play for the next few weeks and my knees will finish healing. The Lord knows it would take something this drastic to keep me off the court. Maybe He's using it as a teaching method. I don't know. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason and I can't see where being upset with Him would help anything. But it really took the wind out of my sails.
I don't have any deep thoughts or anything powerful to say about the podcasts or our discussions this week. And now that I'm reading over the post it sounds super whiny--so sorry about that. It just feels good to type this stuff out.
Today was the last day of my physical therapy and I've gone through quite a bit of pain to get healthy and I would say my knees are 80%. I dunked for the first time in almost two years today while helping out with the varsity program at Harbor. It was a pretty joyous moment for me. So when I came down on a girl's foot the next play and went home on crutches with a severe high ankle sprain I was pretty bummed.
Sure it hurt. Sure its a hassle to get around. But more than anything I'm just plain bummed. I miss being able to play.
I suppose there's a silver lining in the sense that now I won't be tempted to play for the next few weeks and my knees will finish healing. The Lord knows it would take something this drastic to keep me off the court. Maybe He's using it as a teaching method. I don't know. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason and I can't see where being upset with Him would help anything. But it really took the wind out of my sails.
I don't have any deep thoughts or anything powerful to say about the podcasts or our discussions this week. And now that I'm reading over the post it sounds super whiny--so sorry about that. It just feels good to type this stuff out.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Bilateral Patellar Tendonitis
I've been jumping for as long as I can remember. As a kid I was always trying to touch the top of the doorway. Then it was the ceiling. Then the exit signs at school. The basketball rim. Touching my head to the net. Dunking with a tennis ball. Dunking with a basketball. Jumping was the main reason I chose volleyball as the sport I'd focus on most. Problem is: stretching and warming up wasn't something I liked as much.
Volleyball plays last maybe seven seconds. As a middle blocker I would jump anywhere from two to six times within that seven seconds. Every jump was 36 inches up and 36 down--right on my knees. Because I didn't stretch and warm up, my quads are now fused to the fibrous tissue that runs the length of my thigh. This inflexibility makes my kneecap track improperly and puts strain on my tendon.
Now I go to physical therapy twice a week and they use different tools and leverage points to stretch that fibrous band and separate it from my quadriceps. The best way I can describe is like when you have a knot in your shoulders and you have a friend rub it out. Except it's fifty or sixty times worse. But when it's over my legs feel amazing and I find that I am rapidly healing. I should be able to play again in a few weeks.
What a wonderful analogy for my soul. God draws me near to him. I use His gifts He's given me to a certain extent but I don't take the time to seek Him and invest in our relationship. My spirit contracts a chronic ache; poor decisions cause moments of acute suffering. I go to the Doctor and He calls me out on how I haven't properly cared for what He's given me. Spiritual therapy begins and it sucks, but I come out better each time. Sometimes I slip and "play on it". Doc works me over extra hard next appointment not only to put me back on track but to help the problem.
Now my soul has a spring in its step again. But it took the pain of therapy to ultimately heal it.
Volleyball plays last maybe seven seconds. As a middle blocker I would jump anywhere from two to six times within that seven seconds. Every jump was 36 inches up and 36 down--right on my knees. Because I didn't stretch and warm up, my quads are now fused to the fibrous tissue that runs the length of my thigh. This inflexibility makes my kneecap track improperly and puts strain on my tendon.
Now I go to physical therapy twice a week and they use different tools and leverage points to stretch that fibrous band and separate it from my quadriceps. The best way I can describe is like when you have a knot in your shoulders and you have a friend rub it out. Except it's fifty or sixty times worse. But when it's over my legs feel amazing and I find that I am rapidly healing. I should be able to play again in a few weeks.
What a wonderful analogy for my soul. God draws me near to him. I use His gifts He's given me to a certain extent but I don't take the time to seek Him and invest in our relationship. My spirit contracts a chronic ache; poor decisions cause moments of acute suffering. I go to the Doctor and He calls me out on how I haven't properly cared for what He's given me. Spiritual therapy begins and it sucks, but I come out better each time. Sometimes I slip and "play on it". Doc works me over extra hard next appointment not only to put me back on track but to help the problem.
Now my soul has a spring in its step again. But it took the pain of therapy to ultimately heal it.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Noise
After reading the post on noise and looking over everybody's responses I realized that I lead a fairly quiet, noise-free life. I never had any thought about quiet time being wasted time. My television set doesn't get any stations. I don't own anything with an "i" in front of it. Nothing I possess requires me to have earbuds in my head. My phone isn't smart. All these things came to my attention as I thought about how little distractions I have. Of course I like to listen to music and watch movies, but I'm not plugged into some device all day like the freshman on my basketball team are. So after a few days of meditating on the idea of noise and simplicity, and feeling good about myself for not being distracted, a different issue I have came to mind: my motivation.
I'm not the most motivated individual. A successful life for me looks like a couple of kids, a happy wife, and a few projects that never seem to be finished. To be honest I always looked up to Hank Hill. He takes pride in what he does and he does it well, even if that's selling propane and propane accessories. And for him, a good time is standing behind his house with his buddies drinking cheap beer. I've never felt a drive to be exceptional and the idea of being wealthy is actually a bit appalling. Being the best I can be and trying my hardest will always be enough to keep me content. But I'm not always my best. I have a hard time really pushing myself to try my hardest. And as I was giving my team an extremely motivational half-time speech about hustle and hard work, I realized I need to take my own advice.
And then reading the first part of Nouwen's book about living in the moment reinforced the idea that I need to focus on what I'm doing and do it with my might. Plus I've been reading a book about John Wooden which has really called me out on my laziness. Wooden is another man I look up to, more so than Mr. Hill in fact.
So that's what has been on my mind this week; here's hoping I respond with tenacity.
I'm not the most motivated individual. A successful life for me looks like a couple of kids, a happy wife, and a few projects that never seem to be finished. To be honest I always looked up to Hank Hill. He takes pride in what he does and he does it well, even if that's selling propane and propane accessories. And for him, a good time is standing behind his house with his buddies drinking cheap beer. I've never felt a drive to be exceptional and the idea of being wealthy is actually a bit appalling. Being the best I can be and trying my hardest will always be enough to keep me content. But I'm not always my best. I have a hard time really pushing myself to try my hardest. And as I was giving my team an extremely motivational half-time speech about hustle and hard work, I realized I need to take my own advice.
And then reading the first part of Nouwen's book about living in the moment reinforced the idea that I need to focus on what I'm doing and do it with my might. Plus I've been reading a book about John Wooden which has really called me out on my laziness. Wooden is another man I look up to, more so than Mr. Hill in fact.
So that's what has been on my mind this week; here's hoping I respond with tenacity.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Introductions
My name's Ryan and I was born on August 15 of 1989 into a family that included two parents and three sisters who's ages were, at the time, eight, ten, and twelve. Having three older sisters--or four moms if you'd like to look at it that way--has been exceedingly influential on my social development. I learned from a young age not to take myself too seriously; and that if you leave the dinner table and don't take your food with you, it won't be the same as when you left.
At the moment I am employed only as a coach: Frosh/Soph girls basketball at Newport Harbor and both boys and girls volleyball at Mariners Christian(across from rockharbor). I also lead a small group of freshman boys at a church called Crossline. I apologize in advance if I do anything immature in the next eight months; please keep in mind I spend more time with 12-16 year olds than people my own age.
There aren't too many other notable things about me that come to mind. I go to OCC where I am majoring in math. I play an excessive amount of sports but volleyball is my favorite. And I like to be outside, preferably in the mud.
I don't have a specific reason for joining Circles. The only expectation I have coming into it is to come out better than when I started. Darin's beard was a deciding factor. My goal in life is to be able to say the same things on my deathbed that Paul said on his: "I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course. I have kept the faith." And I see Circles as an opportunity to help me to do those things.
At the moment I am employed only as a coach: Frosh/Soph girls basketball at Newport Harbor and both boys and girls volleyball at Mariners Christian(across from rockharbor). I also lead a small group of freshman boys at a church called Crossline. I apologize in advance if I do anything immature in the next eight months; please keep in mind I spend more time with 12-16 year olds than people my own age.
There aren't too many other notable things about me that come to mind. I go to OCC where I am majoring in math. I play an excessive amount of sports but volleyball is my favorite. And I like to be outside, preferably in the mud.
I don't have a specific reason for joining Circles. The only expectation I have coming into it is to come out better than when I started. Darin's beard was a deciding factor. My goal in life is to be able to say the same things on my deathbed that Paul said on his: "I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course. I have kept the faith." And I see Circles as an opportunity to help me to do those things.
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